


I Wish It Too

by irislim



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irislim/pseuds/irislim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica is keen to figure out why Duncan broke up with her, even as she struggles with her guilt over Lilly and Logan's split. Surprisingly, Logan proves to be her only ally - and maybe something more. An AU of the events that led up to season 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Rob Thomas owns all the characters; I only play with them. The POV will alternate between Veronica and Logan. Hope you enjoy the story!

"Seriously, Veronica Mars, wasn't he just the most handsome officer ever?"

"Huh?" Veronica snapped out of her thoughts at her best friend's slurred voice. "Oh yeah, sure."

Lilly didn't need any further encouragement, apparently, as she tattled on about her Fleet Week conquests, all the while punctuating her declarations with body movements. No one could combine driving and seduction like Lilly Kane.

Veronica sighed as she leaned back in the passenger seat, her long locks covering the sides of her face. The squealing from Lilly and the girls faded away into the background.

_How could Lilly act so nonchalantly? Sure, Logan was wrong to kiss Yolanda, but didn't he at least deserve the chance to explain?_

Veronica licked her lips as a guilty feeling punched her in the gut. She was one to talk about chances to explain. She wondered how Yolanda was doing.

"Hello? Veronica? Earth to Mars?"

Veronica turned to her left. "Seriously, Lilly, you know I hate that line."

"And that's why I use it!" Lilly laughed. "I live to serve. But seriously, what were you thinking? Are you really so deprived of seeing men in hot outfits that one Fleet Week visit makes you speechless? I gotta talk to Duncan about his wardrobe."

Veronica let out a small laugh before becoming serious again. "Actually, Lills, I was thinking about Yolanda."

Lilly's frivolity melted into an expression of annoyance and anger. "Seriously? Pick someone actually worth your thoughts, Veronica."

"Well, no, Lilly, I - " Veronica tried to find the right words. "I just felt like - that I - uhm, that we owe her a chance to explain, you know?"

"Explain what? I know how kissing Logan feels like. I don't need her to describe it to me."

Veronica sighed. "But what if what I thought I saw wasn't the truth, Lilly?"

"Look, Logan was upset at me for skipping the party, Yolanda always had the hots for him, and they made out without me. It doesn't get plainer than that. If anything, I have to thank her for getting him off my hands."

Lilly gave a rueful shrug; Veronica leaned back, frustration in her eyes.

_Oh Lilly, why do you always have to act like you don't care? I know you care. Or do you?_

"Anyway, girls, who was your favorite greeter?" Lilly switched back to her flirtatious mode almost instantly. This time, however, she didn't ask Veronica any more questions, focusing instead on her audience in the backseat.

Veronica rode the rest of the trip in silence.

* * *

Veronica could not believe what Lilly Kane had just told her.

"Yesterday you said we were meant for each other," Veronica pressed as the older girl shrugged her off.

"I don't - I really don't want to be in the middle of this."

Veronica looked at her friend, heartbroken and frustrated. How did Lilly go from fully supportive into completely cold within 24 hours? Veronica tried desperately to pursue the topic.

"Would you stop walking? What is so horrible that you can't tell me?" Veronica trailed her friend down the hallway.

Lilly stopped for a moment. "Can you trust me? It's for the best, Veronica. I know that it doesn't seem like it right now, but it is! You deserve better."

Veronica watched helplessly as Lilly hurried away.

_Lilly once warned me that Celeste Kane would break me up with Duncan the first chance she had. Could she be the one behind this? I can think of very few reasons that Duncan and Lilly would agree upon. It had to be something big - and I had to figure it out._

* * *

"Veronica?" Logan's eyebrows mirrored his verbal greeting as he leaned most of his weight against his open bedroom door.

Veronica lowered her eyes, uncertain how Logan's reaction meant. How could she explain how much she needed him right now when she had just tattled on him weeks before?

A silent moment passed.

"Ronnie?"

She felt Logan move closer, his hand reaching out to her shoulder. Veronica breathed sharply.

"Logan, I need your help."


	2. Confrontations

Logan paused as the visitor outside his bedroom was revealed. When Mrs. Navarro told him he had a guest, he hadn't expected a girl, much less this one.

"Veronica?" he managed to ask as he pressed his right forearm against the open door, shifting his weight awkwardly.

_Great, I sound like an idiot. Let's try again._

"Ronnie?"

_Like that was better._

With some hesitation, Logan reached out towards her shoulder. She looked broken and afraid, a very different person from the source of sunshine she usually was.

"Logan, I need your help."

He stopped and withdrew his hand. What could she possibly need from him?

"Oh, uhm, alright," he mumbled. "Come in, please."

Her skinny hands wrapped around herself, Veronica squeezed inside between Logan and the door. He waited for her to be fully inside before he closed the door and turned around.

_If there ever was a more sorry sight..._

"I need to know why Duncan won't talk to me." Veronica's blue eyes, shining with tears, rose to meet his.

Logan, hunched up like a junior high kid in front of his crush, pulled one hand through his hair. "You think I know, Ronnie?"

"I don't know." She sounded resigned. "But I thought that maybe you could figure out?"

A ripple of annoyance - or was it disappointment? - suddenly ran through Logan. "Why? You need a middle-man now? What happened to you and Lilly having to tell each other everything? Shouldn't you be asking her? I'm not exactly as welcome in the Kane household as I used to be."

He planted his hands on his hips, pacing a little to the right.

He felt a small hand rest on his left forearm.

"Logan, I'm sorry. I know I can't expect you to help me after what I did. But I - " Veronica pulled him around to face her. "I have no one else. I don't mind not getting back together with Duncan. I just need to know why. Don't you think there has to be a reason for a guy to suddenly treat his girlfriend as completely invisible?"

Logan took a deep breath as he gazed down at the pretty, forlorn face. Based on that incident at the hospital the other day, maybe Duncan did have a deeper secret than he was letting on.

"Okay."

His answer came almost as a sigh.

* * *

Sounds of video game slashing and gunshots reverberated down the hall as Logan approached Duncan's open bedroom. He watched his friend for a moment, contemplating how simple and perfect his life had been. Rich parents, high grades, a fun sister, and a beautiful, dedicated girlfriend - what more did the Donut want?

Logan slumped down on the carpet beside said perfect friend.

Duncan's game ended just then, causing him to toss his controller on the floor.

"Bad day?" Logan started, handing Duncan a sugar-free soda he had brought along.

Duncan grunted his assent. He took a careful sip of his drink as Logan churned down his own hard lemonade.

"The house seems kinda quiet, don't you think?" Logan fiddled with the game controller, keeping his tone casual.

"Yeah. Peaceful."

Logan raised an eyebrow. He shifted slightly to face Duncan's stiff presence. "You like it this quiet?"

Duncan shrugged. He took another sip before he picked up the second game controller. The boys started yet another game in a perfect, wordless routine.

_If I don't ask now, Donut is gonna disappear into another mental black-hole when the game starts._

Taking advantage of the loading screen, Logan huffed an exaggerated sigh. He stretched his arms dramatically enough to elbow Duncan.

"Dude, watch out!" There was an unusual level of irritation in Duncan's voice as he scooted away.

"Sorry, man." Must sound dramatic. "I was just kinda thinking about Lilly, you know. It's been weeks, and she's still not coming around. You know how she's doing?"

Duncan shrugged, apparently apathetic. "You ask her, man. It's not the first time you guys broke up."

"But it's different now, you know." Logan refused to let him drop the subject. "I mean, like, every time we used to break up, you and Ronnie were around. You guys would make it happen again. But now - "

"Cut it out, man. I don't wanna talk about it."

Logan turned in surprise. Duncan was never one to interrupt. He tried to sound informal. "What's wrong, man? Why did you guys break up anyway? Or did you break up at all?"

"Loading complete." A soft female voice announced in a British accent.

Duncan, obviously annoyed, quickly punched the 'start' button.

Logan stood up and turned off the TV.

"Logan, what are you doing?" Duncan shouted, standing up.

"I need you to tell the truth, Duncan," Logan snapped back, unable to suppress his curiosity any longer.

"You don't need the truth, Logan."

"Yes, I do!"

"Why? Why do you?" Duncan pressed back. He took a rare step of aggression towards his friend. "Why does it matter to you that I stopped talking to her?"

"'Her,' Duncan? She has a name, you know. Ve-ron-i-ca. Come on, you can say it."

Duncan suddenly lounged forward, grabbing Logan by the collar.

_Whoah, who are you?_

Logan looked at the fiery blue eyes staring him down. He felt Duncan's fists clench tighter.

_Is this how Jake felt when Duncan attacked him last week?_

"Why, Duncan?" Logan levelled his gaze, his voice firm. "Why did you break up with Veronica?"

"Why do you care!" Duncan yelled at Logan's face, his hands quivering. "Why does it even matter to you?"

"Why not?" Logan's found his own voice escalating as well. "She gave you her heart, Duncan; you can't break it just like that."

"And that matters because?"

"Because I care, alright?" Logan finally reacted, pushing himself away from Duncan. "I don't want to see her hurt."

"Right, because I hurt your precious little princess."

"Duncan, it's not like that!"

"What was it like, Logan?" The anger in Duncan's face melted into resignation. "We both know what happened. You liked her; I liked her. You let me have her because you thought she liked me. Wasn't that the story?"

Logan felt his lungs tighten. Why did Duncan have to bring that up?

"Look, Duncan - "

"It's okay, man. It's fine." Duncan slumped back on the floor. "I can't tell you why. But just trust me. I can't get back with her. Just let me be."

Almost as if nothing had happened, Duncan turned on the TV and continued his game.

For the second time that day, Logan found himself answering the only word he could think of.

"Okay."

* * *

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

The rubber ball hit the wall in perfect rhythm as Logan toyed with it absent-mindedly.

_What was I thinking?_

In a rare moment of confusion, Logan grasped the ball tightly and fell backwards on his bed.

He couldn't deny a certain level of guilt in Veronica's current heartbreak. If he hadn't kept the bro code - hadn't let Duncan claim his girl - would today be any different?

He slung his left forearm over his eyes, his right hand resuming the rhythmic bounce.

He had always found Lilly attractive; she was slightly older, vivacious, playful, and seductive - every teenage boy's dream.

_But that wasn't your dream, Logan._

As the son of two A-list movie stars, he had already seen his share of overly sexed-up young women before he even reached his teens. What he longed for had been normalcy and spirit - a girl who wasn't always flaunting how pretty she was, a girl who spoke her mind, a girl who would get down and dirty on a soccer field.

Logan smirked to no one.

_You always knew what you wanted, Logan; but now it seems like Duncan knew it too._

With his eyes shielded from the sharp Californian sunset, Logan allowed his thoughts to drown in the rubber ball's soothing sound.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

"Hey, Logan."

The ball dropped to the ground at her voice.


	3. Fault

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

The metric precision of the rhythm made Veronica wonder for a moment if the sound came from an audio device.

The bouncing stopped, and so did Veronica. The door in front of her was slightly ajar, allowing her to hear every sound inside the bedroom - the bedroom whose owner might finally have answers for her.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

The noises resumed. Veronica knocked on the door, softly, almost as if she was trying not to be heard.

_Come on, Veronica, it's just Logan. If he promised to help; he would._

After a few seconds without a reply, she slipped quietly into the room.

The bright orange shirt of the bed's lone occupant struck a sharp contrast with his beige surroundings. With his left hand over his eyes, her view of Logan's face consisted only of chin and blond-tipped brown hair. For a moment, he looked almost sweet, endearing.

Veronica shook her head, dismissing her thoughts.

_What good could come of dwelling on that?_

She cleared her throat.

"Hey, Logan."

The ball dropped on the carpet with a thud.

In one smooth motion, Logan was upright and off the bed, towering in front of her. He acted frazzled, but his eyes looked focused.

Veronica watched as he ran his right hand through his hair.

"Sorry to surprise you. I - I knocked but didn't hear an answer." She found herself explaining. "The door was open. I - "

Logan held up a hand. She stopped and lowered her head.

She was surprised at her own behavior; she was never one to comply easily.

"Look, Ronnie, I - uhm - tried to talk to Duncan," Logan spoke slowly.

"Yeah?" She looked up tentatively.

Logan took a deep breath.

_Why was he nervous?_

"I think - I think you should move on," Logan mumbled, looking everywhere except at her.

_Why is everyone saying the same thing all of a sudden?_

"Why?" She asked quietly.

Logan's response, however, was wordless. Back and forth, he started pacing in the area between Veronica and his bed, his arms making jerky motions all the while. He breathed audibly.

"Logan." She moved forward and placed a hand on his arm, stopping his movements. "Why did Duncan break up with me?"

For a moment, the two individuals stood still.

Then Logan turned around; and Veronica's breath hitched.

Snippets of memories flashed in her mind like a montage on fast-forward: moments when Logan had looked exactly like he did now. The first time he smiled at her at the community park when they were twelve, that time he stood up for her against Lilly's prank, and the time he danced with her at Duncan's birthday party before Lilly whisked her away - she would recognize that soft gaze anywhere.

_And each of those times, I wanted to kiss him._

Involuntarily, Veronica leaned forward, closing the gap between them. She tiptoed.

"Duncan wouldn't tell me."

Veronica pulled back, blushing slightly at the realization of what she had been about to do.

"What?"

"He didn't tell me," he repeated, looking away.

"So you don't know why?"

Logan shook his head.

Veronica furrowed her brow. "And yet - you tell me to move on?"

Logan sighed. "You got a problem with that?"

"Yes." Her voice was now firm. "Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?"

Logan pulled another hand to his hair. He spun to face her. "What else could you do, Veronica?"

_He's got a point._

"That's not the point, Logan. I need to know." She emphasized her subsequent words by tapping a finger on an imaginary surface between them. "I need to know why he stopped talking to me. I need to know why Lilly wouldn't tell me. And I need to know why we can't be who we were."

"Gosh, Veronica, what are you talking about? What is who we were?"

"You, me, Duncan, Lilly - the fab four. What happened to us?"

Now Logan laughed - a laughter so sudden it frightened her. Veronica subconsciously took a step back.

"Veronica Mars, is your memory really that bad?" Logan's eyes were now completely hard, his arms held out in a pose of exasperation.

"What?"

"If you really were so happy with 'the way we were,' then you should never have told Lilly about Yolanda." Logan spoke almost matter-of-factly, but his face indicated hurt that Veronica hadn't expected to see.

"But Logan - "

"Don't tell me it's not about that, Veronica. You know it was."

"But - "

"I kissed Yolanda for three seconds. That was it." Logan's voice started to rise. "I never touched her again and never will. What you thought you saw was nothing. I was drunk and upset and would've kissed any person next to me at that moment. Do you get it?"

"Get what?" Veronica found her own voice foreign, distant.

Logan huffed, his face betrayed his frustration. "I never cared for Yolanda. She was nothing to me. But you, somehow - due to your strange sisterly code of friendship - had to make a big deal out of nothing. You, Veronica, were the one who tore us four apart!"

"I did not!"

"Oh yeah? And so who did, Ronnie?"

"You did!" Veronica fought the sobs that were now welling inside of her. How could he be blaming her? "Logan, you kissed Yolanda. You chose to do that. Your decision ruined our friendship!"

"So you don't approve of my decision now?"

"No, Logan, of course not!"

"Why, Veronica? Why?" Logan moved forward, slowly backing her towards the wall.

"Because - because you cheated on Lilly!"

"Lilly chose not to come. She was the one who didn't want to be with me. You know that!"

Veronica breathed, deep. "She said you were too jealous."

"And she's breaking up with me now because of another girl?"

Veronica shook her head. "Logan, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I told Lilly. I didn't know all this was gonna happen. But you can't erase the fact that you chose to kiss Yolanda."

Logan sighed and took one step back. Veronica let out the breath she had been holding.

"Why did it bother you, Veronica? I don't understand." Logan's hands toyed with the edge of his shirt. "You saw Lilly cheat on me a hundred times. It never bothered you. Why was my kissing Yolanda once such a big deal?"

Veronica closed her eyes, refusing to indulge in her instinctive mental response.

"Logan, you know you were wrong." She insisted.

"How?"

"Because - because - "

"Because what, Ronnie?" His voice now sounded hollow, hurt. "Because you wish I had kissed you instead?"

Her eyes jerked up.

_How did he -_

"Trust me, I wish it too."

Veronica caught her breath. Once again, Logan's eyes captured that elusive softness as they gazed back at hers. She felt herself tense, lean forward, and -

She shook her head, cleared her thoughts, and ran out the room.


	4. Moments

_I wish it too._

Logan's eye popped open as his own words reverberated through his brain. He glanced at the teacher. Miss Hauser could care less about his attention span. Health teachers weren't even real teachers, in his book.

With the blunt tip of his unused pen, he traced lazy patterns on his notebook cover.

_Great, now I'm acting like a twelve-year-old girl._

A recollection of what had actually happened when he was twelve made him a tad less hard on himself.

Logan fidgeted in his seat, but his mind suffered much further unrest.

He would never forget the time he first saw Veronica - her blond pigtails bobbing as she dominated the soccer field. Only Veronica could achieve such a beautiful oxymoron of sweet, girly hair paired with fierce, precise body movements. He had tried to talk to her after her game. In fact, he was already stationed by the locker entrance, his compliments on the tip of his tongue; then Lilly came to drag her away.

Logan sighed. That wasn't the only time Lilly would drag her away.

_But does it matter? She never liked me back...right?_

The bell rang, and students popped off their chairs as if someone pushed a mass ejection button.

_Now to find Veronica._

For the next five minutes, Logan scoured the hallway with his eyes. The problem with petite people was their ability to choose to be seen or not. After futile searches during recess, lunch, and in between all his classes, Logan was quite certain Veronica had been intentionally avoiding him. And honestly, why shouldn't she? What he said yesterday had probably scandalized her to trauma.

Logan squared his shoulders. He really had some explaining to do.

_Explain what, Logan? That you meant every word you said?_

He ran a hand through his hair as the warning bell rang. In the spur of the moment, he ducked into an empty classroom near his locker.

A minute later, the bustling hallways were magically clear again.

Slowly, Logan cracked open the pale yellow classroom door and surveyed his surroundings. His cocked his head to the side, and then he smiled.

He could recognize those swift little footsteps anywhere.

He bided his time.

_One, two, three -_

He jumped out, pulled the arm of the swiftly passing student, and pulled her into the classroom with him. Quickly, he snapped the door shut and turned his back towards it.

The blue eyes that greeted him were double the size of his.

_Great. Real smooth, man. You basically kidnapped her. Now what?_

After staring back at her for a good ten seconds, Logan cleared his throat. "Uhm, hey Ronnie."

Veronica stared back at him, still not moving a single limb. She panted, silently, but visibly. Her lips - those sweet, beautiful lips - were slightly parted in shock. Her eyes, however, betrayed more curiosity than fear.

"Sorry I had to - uhm - snatch you like that." Logan scratched the back of his neck.

_How do you start a conversation to disclaim what was true?_

"Listen - uhm," Logan started, "I'm sorry if I scared you yesterday."

Veronica stared back still, wordless and intriguing.

"I - I didn't know why I said that."

"Said what?" Compared to her previous silence, her voice penetrated the room like a clear, gentle morning bell.

"Well, you know, about Yolanda."

"You don't know why you spoke about Yolanda?" She moved now, relaxing her shoulders and standing more at ease.

"Uhm, no, that's not what I meant."

_Logan! Pull yourself together._

Veronica's eyebrow rose quizzically. She moved her arms to cross them. Logan could sense her pulling away.

"What I mean, Veronica." He stepped closer to her. "Was that I shouldn't have said that part about kissing you or whatever. I mean, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry if I - uhm - confused you."

"Oh."

Logan looked up.

"Oh"? That's all she had to say after his day-long mental torture?

Unsatisfied, he found himself elaborating. "I mean, you came to me asking help about Duncan, and I started blaming everything on you. I - I was a jerk like that. So, uhm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have scared you like that."

Veronica bit her lip and lowered her eyes. He would give the world to know her thoughts.

"Why do you think you scared me, Logan?"

Her question caught him off guard.

"Huh? Uhm, I dunno. I guess because you ran?"

"Okay, but why did I have to run?" In the same way he challenged her yesterday, she now challenged him. Her gaze, now firm and resolute, locked on his face. For a second or two, Logan suffocated under the intensity of her eyes.

"I don't - uhm, maybe because I was wrong?" His voice faltered as it seldom would.

"Why? Was it wrong? For you?"

What "it" is she talking about now?

"Yes?"

In an instant, Veronica's deportment transformed. The sprit and strength in her eyes gave way again to her normal, passive look. The firm posture melted into fragile femininity.

"Okay," she stated simply and headed for the door.

In a knee-jerk reaction, Logan slid to block her way.

"Ronnie, wait."

"Wait for what?" Her voice now had a hint of pain, just like the eyes she lifted to his.

If he didn't know better, he would have thought that she was hurt - that she had been hoping for another answer, an answer that -

_Maybe she is?_

Logan breathed in with wonder for a moment. What if his belief that she preferred Duncan had been a mistake all along?

_There's only one way to find out._

In a flash, Logan ducked down and pressed his lips firmly on hers.

He felt her breath hitch as their mouths met. His own breath didn't do much better.

For five heart-stopping seconds, their soft, moist lips touched closely. Neither person pushed for more; neither person pulled away.

Veronica's history textbook fell with a thud on the floor, and they both jumped apart.

Quickly, Logan turned to her face, gauging her reaction. She returned his gaze; but that look in her eyes - was that shock, anger, surprise, or - pleasure?

He needed an answer.

Logan reached for her shoulders and pulled down again. This time, there were no soft lips pressed together - only two mouths crashing.

Dropping all her books, Veronica's hands crept up his shoulders. Logan dragged her close by the waist, pressing their bodies together. Their lips, mouths, and tongues locked in a deep and scorching kiss.


	5. Reconciliation

Veronica closed her eyes as the ceiling and floor welded together into a cosmic blur. Her speeding heart battered her constricted chest as she pulled herself closer, closer, and closer into Logan's warm body.

Her knees gave way, making her dangle off Logan's neck, safely supported only by his arm around her back. The bolts of electricity that started the moment their lips met again now flamed in every nerve she owned. The soft warmth of his lips, the strength of his arms, and the hardness in his jeans that pressed against her combined into the most overwhelming feeling of her entire life.

_I guess this is how they do it in the movies._

After minutes of insanity, Logan withdrew his tongue, choosing instead to move their lips softly and slowly against each other. Veronica responded instantly as she slowly regained her footing. Their arms relaxed from their suffocating embrace, though neither moved an inch apart. Their kisses loosened in their depth and their urgency, but never in intensity.

Ten more tender kisses later, Veronica pulled away.

She looked up. Logan's lips were parted, his eyes round in wonder. She was sure she herself looked just the same.

The school bell rang, and Veronica jumped.

_How long have we been in here?_

Her eyes glued to his face, she picked up her books and backed away.

* * *

"Hmph!"

Veronica huffed as she buried her face under a pillow.

_Thank God no one's home._

Being a sheriff was a demanding job for her dad; and while her mom had started off as a supportive wife, she had begun to show fatigue recently, often disappearing unexplained for hours at a time.

Veronica threw away the pillow and heaved a particularly long sigh. A mixture of pleasure, anger, and fear welled up within her. Or was it anger at her own pleasure? Veronica groaned.

From the moment she saw Logan leaning against the wall four years ago, posed beside her locker entrance, kissing Logan had become a wish tucked away in the recesses of her mind. Then Lilly had pulled her away - just like that time at Duncan's birthday.

Veronica stared blankly at the dresser in front of her bed as her mind wandered...

_"Come on, Veronica Mars, run faster!" Lilly shouted and giggled as she pulled her best friend up the stairs._

_"Lilly, wait! I'm in heels!" Veronica's laughter was bright, young. She sneaked a peek at the patio before they turned the corner. Logan was still standing where they had been dancing. He smiled at her. She smiled back._

_"One-minute," she mouthed to him and gestured with her free hand, before Lilly pulled her away._

_A moment later, Lilly had planted Veronica in the middle of her bed. The older girl bounced up and down the mattress next to her in excitement._

_"I have a secret!" Lilly squealed._

_"Oh, yeah?" Veronica smiled politely. "It's gotta be a big one to make you run away from a party."_

_Lilly broke into a wide and wild grin. "Someone likes you," she teased._

_"Oh," Veronica responded, trying hard not to blush. Guess Lilly hadn't missed the little dance floor exchange._

_"You're not gonna believe who it is!" Lilly pounced closer._

_Veronica looked at her friend and affected a shrug._

_"Duncan likes you!" Lilly announced with her arms held out. "Oh, Veronica, we're gonna be like sisters!"_

_It took a few seconds for Lilly's words to register. "Oh, Duncan?"_

_Her voice must have sounded sufficiently surprised to satisfy Lilly, who jumped off the bed while nodding her head profusely._

_"And guess what, Veronica." She walked around to grab her by the hands. "I am gonna give him the best birthday gift ever. He'll thank me forever!"_

_Lilly dragged Veronica off the bed and in front of the mirror. "Look at you," she spoke while straightening out Veronica's dress. "Duncan would be so happy when I tell him that you like him too. He's been so bad with girls. I was beginning to worry! Now, I'm so glad he made a good choice."_

_Veronica bit her lip. What was she supposed to say? 'I never even notice your little brother who invited me to his birthday party today'?_

_Lilly tattled on, "We'll always hang out together, and no boyfriend will ever steal you from me. Cuz, of course, guys like to do that. But hey, now I don't have to worry."_

_Lilly pulled a sparkling, silvery dress from her closet and handed it to Veronica. "Here, girl, put this on. Duncan would be so impressed. In fact, I'm gonna go tell him he better be prepared for your grand entrance."_

_After a wink and a nudge, Lilly pranced towards the door. She turned around right before she left the room. "I mean, Veronica, you do like my brother, right?"_

_Veronica looked helplessly at Lilly's reflection in the mirror. "I - uhm - I guess?"_

_"Awesome! I'll go tell the boys!" Lilly flitted out the door._

_From that day on, Logan never talked to her alone again._

...Until this week, that is.

Veronica groaned again as she caught herself mentally re-enacting their make-out session in the classroom this afternoon. She had learned to eventually like Duncan, appreciate him, even care for him; but only Logan had ever put her on fire. And when they had kissed today, every cell in her body had testified that those butterflies she had felt when she first met him years ago had never really died.

Kissing Logan had been heavenly, intoxicating.

_And why should I feel guilty for enjoying it? I'm not with Duncan anymore, and Lilly had broken up with him._

The thought made Veronica sit up and bury her head in her hands. She was the world's biggest hypocrite.

She looked up. And there's only one way to make it right.

* * *

"Veronica?" Yolanda's brow furrowed as she took in the sight of her visitor.

I guess this is the new standard greeting.

"Hi, Yolanda," Veronica spoke, trying to sound casual. "May I come in?"

"Oh - uhm, sure." Yolanda let her in, scanned the foyer outside her room, and closed the door.

Without a word, she sat down on her lounge chair and motioned for Veronica to take the bed. Veronica complied, slightly unnerved at resuming their poses from the last time they had spoken amicably.

An awkward three seconds passed.

"I'm sorry."

Both girls looked up. They blinked. They chuckled.

"I said it first."

"No, I said it first!"

Veronica relaxed as they bantered over their words. She smiled honestly at her companion.

"I'm sorry, Yolanda, I should never have blamed you for kissing Logan." Veronica lowered her head for a moment before continuing. "I didn't have the right to tattle on you, and I know you honestly thought Logan and Lilly weren't together anymore."

Yolanda nodded. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have let that happen. Logan was drunk and kissed me first, but I should have pulled away."

Veronica nodded back, mentally noting how Yolanda had managed to pull away much sooner than she herself had. Perhaps Logan was right -

_Can't say I wasn't jealous._

"So does this mean we're cool?" She looked up at the room's owner. "I think you're an awesome person, Yolanda. And I would absolutely hate to lose you as a friend."

Yolanda grinned. "Of course, Veronica. How could I blame you? I would've done the same thing if I were in your shoes."

Veronica nodded, grateful. "Is there any way I could make up for what I did?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. Real friends don't bear grudges."

Veronica paused. "Yeah?"

"Of course, girl," Yolanda kicked her feet up and down as she spoke. "any relationship is only worth as much as it's withstood. Forgiveness, not compliance, is what makes people work. You know that, right?"

"Uhm, right." Veronica nodded with a smile to her friend; her mind, however, was jumping to much further conclusions.

Before Yolanda showed up a few months ago, only three people outside of Veronica's family had ever genuinely touched her life. But were those friendships really good ones when measured by the standards of endurance? How much was a relationship worth if its only life-source had been passive acquiescence?

Only one of those three people had ever required her to step beyond the bounds of her comfort zone - required her to actually think about what she really wanted.

_And maybe that's why it's the one relationship worth fighting for._


	6. Distance

The yellow Xterra screeched to a stop beside the curb. The driver sighed, and he leaned his head between his two hands on the wheel.

One day - one day was all it took to upset the world that he had come to accept. One kiss, or two, was all it took to steal him from his chosen contentment in his on-again, off-again relationship with his teenage sex goddess and hurl him into the depths of consuming desire for the blond angel he'd always worshipped.

Logan gripped the motionless wheel a tad tighter. Ever since Duncan's fourteenth birthday party, he had come to terms with the fact that Veronica would never be his. No matter how electric her hands on his neck had felt and however fiery her eyes were whenever they met his, he would never be able to claim her as his own.

She belonged to his best friend, as he had been so pointedly informed...

_"Duncan! Logan!" Lilly called out their names like a summoning princess as she sashayed towards the bar._

_The two boys looked up. Lilly was stunning in her plunging black dress; but, as usual, somewhat over-the-top. Why couldn't young women ever understand that looking like girls, not thirty-year-old hookers, was infinitely more attractive?_

_Lilly hooked an arm in Duncan's. "Yo little bro, I've got a birthday surprise for you."_

_Duncan's face retained its normal indifference while Lilly winked at him._

_Logan took another bored sip at his cocktail. If Lilly was down here, where was Veronica?_

_He turned himself around to search for her. His eyes scanned the faces scattered around the patio until they rested on a small figure shyly making its way out from the house. His heart jumped to his throat._

_Veronica glistened with every small step she made. Her simple sky-blue outfit from the early evening had been swapped for a white strapless dress with silver embroidery. The uneven hemline fell around her knees with some fragments above and others below. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous._

_Logan watched as she perused her surroundings, probably unaccustomed to her current level of fashion. He smiled at her unassuming charm. Mesmerized, he barely noticed Lilly talking to Duncan beside him. Veronica's eyes found her friends at the bar. With a soft smile at Logan - he was certain it was meant for him - she walked towards him._

_"Isn't she beautiful?" Lilly's high voice rose over the dance music._

_Yes, Logan thought - perfect._

_"And guess what, Duncan, I asked her." The high voice continued. "She likes you too! Now go get your girl."_

...Logan threw his head back against his car seat. That night, Duncan had danced the evening away with Veronica while he slept with Lilly for the first time. It wasn't a choice he had made, just a default of situation. Lilly was willing, and he had no reason not to be. Neither of them were virgins anyway.

Logan's gaze skedaddled across the street. Unlike Lilly, however, this girl was someone he had to work for. Kisses of sudden passion were amazing as they came, but he knew he had to man up in order to have Veronica with him for keeps.

_And that's exactly what I intend to do._

Logan unbuckled his seat belt, his eyes transfixed on Veronica in her pep squad uniform, a beautiful girl ever unaware of her own allure. He hadn't been able to think of anything except her during his entire Tijuana trip with the boys. He was even the one who asked to return early, to Dick and Cassidy's surprise.

Logan stepped out of his car, squared his shoulders, and prepared to cross the street.

Just then, Lilly scooted over to Veronica, and Logan subconsciously moved back. He hid partially behind his car as he observed the two girls.

Lilly had one hand on the car Veronica was washing, the other hand on her hip. There was clearly some conversation between them. Logan gulped.

_Dare I wonder if I'm the topic of conversation?_

The tall teen looked down. Knowing how he and Lilly had acted over the past years, half of Neptune High probably expected them to be making out again by next week. Heck, he himself thought so.

_But then - that happened._

A tiny blond with everything he had ever wanted in a girl came to ask for his help, and he finally blurted out what had been on his mind for his entire high school life so far.

No, he would never go back to Lilly. He knew it was over, and he had to make sure she knew it too.

Logan jumped back into his car and pulled out his school backpack. He never bothered to unpack it over weekends; he could easily wing any Monday homework an hour before class. After some extended fumbling, he pulled out a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

And Logan wrote his manifesto.


	7. Conversations

Veronica's eyes dashed across the street the moment Lilly pranced away. A surge of disappointment, with a hint of annoyance, charged through her nerves. She could've sworn Logan's yellow car had been parked there just now. Now she would never know why he'd been here, no thanks to Lilly and her secret.

_"I've got a secret - a big one," Lilly had teased. Howcome I don't really want to know what kind of secret Lilly would consider 'big'?_

Veronica hastily scrubbed the car in front of her. Her conversations with Lilly today had been awkward, strange. Sure, Lilly didn't seem to miss a thing; but Veronica's own telltale heart had tortured her with every word she breathed.

More than once, she had wanted to change the topic into something more constructive. But Lilly was Lilly. Fashion, boys, sex, drinks, boys, and more sex would be the only labels capable of organizing her life.

_I wonder if she noticed her ex-boyfriend across the street today._

The very thought of him made Veronica unable to breathe. In spite of her epiphany yesterday, a thousand questions still plagued her mind. And with the Fab Four now disbanded, she knew she would actually have to make an effort to see Logan at all. Unlike Duncan, Logan wasn't the type to let things happen wordlessly and passively. Logan was theatrics personified. Everything about him was intentional.

Veronica twisted the washcloth in her hand. And if yesterday's kiss was intentional, then there's something going on that's seriously wrong - or right.

_Lilly isn't the only one with a secret._

* * *

Two hours later, Veronica halted a yard away from her front porch.

_Talk about intentional..._

At the sight of her, Logan jumped up from the porch steps to join her. His eyes were glassy, unusually so. Veronica found herself eyeing him in wonder. A moment of stillness passed as they reckoned each other - happy in each other's presence, yet afraid to break the ice.

When Logan took a step towards her, Veronica involuntarily pulled back.

"Ronnie?" His voice was weighted with emotion.

_I hear you, heartbeat, no need to rush._

"Hey, Logan." She managed.

"Hey," he responded, equally awkwardly.

Another ten seconds creeped by.

"So I was thinking," he began, his usual confidence gone into hiding. "Maybe we should, uhm, talk about what happened yesterday, you know?"

Veronica faced down, unaware that Logan wasn't exactly looking at her either.

"Yeah?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry if - well, if I surprised you at school and all that." Logan tried to talk with his hands as much as with his words. "I probably scared you."

_More like floored me, actually, but sure._

Veronica took a deep breath.

"Yeah?" she prodded him to continue.

It was Logan's turn to sigh before he spoke again. "So I was wondering, uhm, what you thought of it, I guess?"

Veronica closed her eyes.

_You want to know, Logan? Let's see, does excitement, joy, relief, elation, surprise, and guilt count?_

She slowly opened her eyes. She let out a small gasp.

Instead of towering above her, Logan had ducked down. His right hand was on her cheek; his lips mere inches from hers. His eyelids were lowered, completely ready for another deep kiss. Veronica found herself glued to the pavement as their lips met. Then two seconds later, she abruptly pulled away.

"Logan, no - " she cut herself short.

"Why?" He stood back up, confusion in his eyes. "Is something wrong, Ronnie?"

_Yes, a lot of things._

"What's wrong?"

Veronica looked up. The openness in his voice made it impossible to refuse an answer.

"Logan, we can't do this," she stammered, her mind struggling with Lilly's image. "It's not right. We can't turn against our friends."

"So this is about Duncan?" Logan suddenly stepped back, his voice less tender than a moment ago.

"Huh? Duncan? No - " Veronica was sincerely surprised. "Why would it be about Duncan?"

Logan looked to his left for a moment, obviously thinking. He looked back at her. "I've always liked you, Veronica. I've probably been in love with you since the very first moment I saw you in your soccer uniform. You know that. But you liked Duncan; and I guess, you still do?"

_Logan thought I was hot - I remember that conversation now. Much as I liked his answer in the limo, I didn't think back then that he was actually telling the truth._

"You liked me?" Veronica thought out loud.

"Gosh, Ronnie, how could you even ask that?" Logan ran a hand through his hair, his signature gesture when agitated. "Was there ever any doubt of that?"

_Guess not, now that I think about it._

"What about Lilly?" she blurted out.

"We've broken up, Ronnie."

"Yes, I know, but you always get back together." Veronica's words were hasty, perhaps too painful for herself to admit. She turned to look straight at him. "Why would this time be any different?"

Logan rested his hands on his hips while he looked down, apparently deep in thought.

"Logan," Veronica broke the silence, her voice calm, "I need to know that I'm not just another Yolanda."

His eyes jerked back up to meet hers. Beneath their locked gazes, he reached out for her hands; she let him take them into his own.

"Veronica Mars," his deep brown eyes spoke along with his lips, "there never was and there never will be a girl that comes close to how much you mean to me. Yolanda was a mistake; Lilly was lust and infatuation. But you - "

_Yes?_

" - you have always been the person who evokes the deepest, sincerest affection in me. So please - " He pressed one finger to her lips when she attempted to speak. "Please never think that I would choose anyone over you. No, not even Lilly."

Veronica felt her heart swell, her breath shorten.

"I never did."

A silent moment passed as Veronica remembered how their paths had crossed. The night Logan stopped talking to her - the night of Duncan's party - he must have been mistaken her unwillingness to disappoint a birthday celebrant as interest in Duncan. How did she ever miss that?

"I left her a note at the car wash," Logan continued. A second passed before she realized he meant Lilly. "I know it's over between me and her. I needed to tell her so. I needed her to know that I needed to be with you."

Veronica blinked back her tears. So Logan was at the car wash - and indirectly because of her.

"I'm over Lilly, long over. But the question is - are you over Duncan?"

Veronica lost herself in Logan's deep brown eyes as Yolanda's words echoed in her mind. 'Any relationship is only worth as much as it's withstood.'

_Love is only love when it's worth fighting for._

A serene smile broke out on Veronica's face. With her eyes locked on Logan's, she gave a small, quick nod.

_After all, why pine for someone who never bothered to fight for me?_

Logan, relief spread over his entire face, dipped down and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

* * *

"Why are we here again?"

Veronica squeezed her boyfriend's hand in response. She turned to face him halfway to the door.

"We need to tell them, Logan," she explained, almost insisted. "Lilly and Duncan mustn't hear about us from anybody else."

Logan huffed a resigned sigh. "I know, Ronnie, but does it have to be now? I would much prefer that we return to lip-locking on your front porch. In spite of any security cameras your dad probably has live-streaming to his office, that activity still sounds safer."

Veronica rubbed his upper arm as a gesture of sympathy, but remained firm in her resolve. "I know Lilly's temper, and so do you. Duncan's thoughts are even more unpredictable than hers. We can't give them even the chance to suspect that we two could have been screwing each other behind their backs."

Logan gasped in faux surprise. "You mean I might actually get to screw up my girlfriend? Too bad I took a vow of celibacy before your dad allowed me to get within two meters of the house." He rested his forehead on hers.

Veronica chuckled. From the moment she allowed herself into his arms, Logan had regained his charisma in full force. Confidence did do a lot to men. With an understanding smile, she pulled back and held out a hand; Logan took it willingly. Slowly, they walked towards the Kane front door.

A piercing scream froze them in their tracks.

 


	8. Revelation

Logan instinctively pulled Veronica into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her shoulders. Did she also hear what he thought he heard?

He peeked down beneath Veronica's long, straight hair. She returned his gaze, her eyes wide with trepidation. Her small frame felt tense and nervous against his chest. They shared an understanding look - and sprung together towards the door.

"Duncan! Open up!" Logan shouted as he banged the tinted glass frames of the locked front door.

Veronica, screaming Lilly's name, repeated his actions beside him.

"Someone, please! Let us in!"

"Wait. I got this." Veronica's voice interrupted him as she gently nudged him aside.

With familiar agility, she reached between her shirt buttons and removed a safety pin.

_What is she doing?_

"Wow, sweetie. I would love to do this, but maybe not in the driveway of our exes' house?" Logan scratched the back of his neck.

"Save it for another day," Veronica responded. She leaned closer to maneuver the pin into the lock. "My dad taught me how to pick a lock when I was eight. I've had practice."

"That's cool, very cool. But don't you think Mr. Kane would have better security than an old-fashioned lock?"

The lock clicked. "Yes," Veronica huffed as she stood back up, "and that's why we have thirty seconds to get to the alarm inside."

Veronica nodded to Logan, who rapidly ushered them both inside. He ran to the painting that hid the security system, quickly disabling the alarm.

"Lilly! Lilly!" Duncan's voice echoed into the hallway.

With a quick glance at each other, Logan and Veronica dashed towards the direction of his voice.

* * *

The afternoon sun, still too high to blend into sunset colors, dazed Logan the moment he stepped outdoors. He quickly lifted a sleeve to block the light.

_California weather isn't always the ideal people make it to be._

His eyes traced the side of the pool to a hunched-over human figure a few meters away. The brown hair and classic clothes immediately labelled the back facing them as Duncan's. Something, however, wasn't quite right.

Logan took a tentative step forward while he scrutinized the scene. Two slender, feminine legs extended past Duncan's body. He was holding someone.

Unsure of what to expect, Logan held out his left arm. Veronica's small hands quickly curled around his biceps. He felt her lean her forehead against his shoulder.

He shot her a we're-in-this-together look. She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Duncan?" Logan called out, making baby steps. Veronica followed closely on his arm.

There was no response.

"Duncan, is everything okay? Did you call out for someone?" Logan's voice remained tempered and forcefully still, the tone one uses with an unpredictable pet.

When they stood less than a meter away, Veronica relaxed her hold on Logan's hand. She stepped one tiny step ahead. "Duncan?"

The software heir turned slowly at her voice. His usually-stoic face appeared even more blank than usual. Duncan gradually turned his body, revealing the sight behind him.

"Lilly!" Logan and Veronica gasped together.

Logan automatically clenched his fists. Why was Lilly lying there looking - no, he couldn't admit it - dead? Fresh blood still trickled from the giant gash on her head.

Both Logan and Veronica lunged forward.

"Ah!"

Logan turned just in time to see Veronica falling backwards, heading into the pool. Using his heels as pivot, he swung over to catch her by the waist, circumventing the fall and landing them both inches from the edge of the pool. He tucked her into his bosom, her head under his chin.

"Shhhhh, you're safe, don't worry," he whispered as his hand ran over the back of her head.

With Veronica panting in his arms, Logan looked to the source of her fall. His jaw slacked.

Duncan stood between them and Lilly's body, his clothes smeared with her blood. His eyes were fiery, his frame hunched over with some unknown source of agitation. His arms twitched, violently, from the shoulders all the way to his tightly clenched fists. A sound - no, a growl - brewed in his throat and overflowed from his open mouth.

_Who are you?_

"What happened?" he whispered to the blond in his embrace, still smoothing her hair.

Veronica shook her head into his chest. Logan looked back at Duncan.

"Dude, what did you do?"

Without a word, Duncan focused his eyes - on Veronica. Logan hugged her tighter.

_Have to resolve this standoff._

Keeping one arm on his girlfriend, Logan reached out his other one towards his friend. He inched closer.

"Go away!" Duncan exploded. Logan felt Veronica clutch his waist. "I don't want to lose another sister!"

Logan shook his head, sorting his thoughts. He looked at Lilly, lying limp and helpless on the ground; he glanced at Duncan, blue eyes flaming; he held Veronica, shivering in his arms. There was only one girl still alive here.

_Why would Duncan think that -_

"Lilly!"

Rapid footsteps approached from the house. In a minute, Jake and Celeste Kane had Lilly off the ground and the rest of them whisked away.


	9. Vigil

Veronica looked up.

The operating room light blinked for a few moments before continuing its merciless glare.

She exhaled. A thousand thoughts flooded Veronica's mind as she clung onto the strong arms around her shoulders. She leaned her head against Logan's neck, allowing his presence to calm her. He, in turn, ran his hand softly up and down her arm.

_Thank God I have him._

Veronica closed her eyes. The combination of not knowing if Lilly would survive, wondering who had attacked her, and trying to understand Duncan's words was burning up half of her brain cells.

_I'm pretty sure he said, "I don't want to lose another sister."_

Did Duncan hurt Lilly? Was Lilly, fighting for her life inside those panelled doors, going to survive to tell the tale?

Veronica inhaled as she pulled herself closer into Logan's arms, in spite of the awkward hospital chairs they sat on. Across the room, Celeste Kane the stone-cold witch sat on another bench, her hands clutching and twisting a handkerchief while she shook off an occasional shudder. Her red hair remained as untouched as if she had just left a salon. Veronica peeked at her warily.

_I still think she has something to do with Duncan dumping me._

The only sound in the room was Jake Kane's sniffling from time to time as he paced the length of the area. The cold hospital air tasted of fear - and death.

"Hey, you okay?" Logan whispered with a kiss to her forehead.

Veronica looked up, grateful, and nodded. "I'm fine. Too much to think about. I hope Lilly will be okay."

Logan's eyes conveyed his understanding. He had as much to process as she did. He buried his nose in her hair, holding her close. "It's okay. It'll be okay."

_Oh how did Lilly give you up?_

Veronica nodded into his shoulder. Her new angle against Logan's shoulder allowed her a glimpse of Duncan, seated on Logan's other side. Unfathomably, Duncan appeared even less affected than his mom. His eyes stayed fixed on an unknown point far away as his body rocked back and forth, his face expressionless. His parents had changed him into a blue sweater in place of his earlier soccer uniform. This Duncan was not the same one that almost threw her into the pool when she tried to get by him to reach Lilly earlier today. In fact, this Duncan didn't seem very much like Duncan at all.

_Lilly said she had a secret - was it something about Duncan? Did Lilly and her secrets - God knows she had plenty - lead to her possible death?_

Veronica sniffed at the thought of her best friend dead. Yes, she had to admit, Lilly was no saint. Her hedonistic lifestyle had probably left a trail of broken lives incomparable. With her newfound ability to see things beyond what they used to be, Veronica had to admit her own loyalty to Lilly had been misplaced, even blind. But still, Lilly didn't deserve to be facing the gates of hell - not yet.

"Jake! Jake!" A woman's voice cut through the silent air simultaneously with the sound of squeaking hospital doors. "Is Lilly okay? Are you okay? Oh my gosh, Jake."

Veronica lifted her head ever-so-slightly. Whoever the newcomer, she had her arms locked tightly around the software tycoon; and he was crying in her arms like a baby. The black bodyguard by the doors watched stoically. This woman must be familiar with the family.

Wishing to think of anything but Lilly's mysterious accident and uncertain fate in the operating room, Veronica pushed herself up gently from Logan's arms. He, apparently understanding her intent, pecked her softly on the cheek and straightened up. They both turned towards the two embracing adults.

_MOM?!_

Veronica gasped as she recognized the figure on Jake Kane's arm. Her eyes gathered every clue before her. Jake's arm wound around Lianne's shoulder as they turned around, walking towards the seated family members. Lianne's other hand held him up by the chest in an intimate gesture. Jake buried his nose in her hair; she turned to peck him on the cheek.

Veronica's eyes shot to Celeste. The ice witch had turned into a dragon. Her eyes fiery, her cheeks flush, she was ready to pounce. Her aim was directed straight at Veronica's mother.

_"I don't want to lose another sister."_

Duncan's words echoed in her mind. There was no other girl around when he shouted that.

_Does that mean that he thought - that he knew - that I was -_

"Mom!" Veronica shot up from her seat, losing all reservations. "What are you doing here?"

Lianne looked up at her daughter. "Veronica? What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first!" The world started spinning. Veronica struggled to keep herself standing on her feet as tears started to escape her eyes. "Why are you here hugging Duncan's dad?"

"You never told her, did you?" Celeste's scoffed as she stood up. Veronica didn't have to see her to hear the anger channeled into every word. "You allowed your illegitimate daughter to think of herself as the wonderful daughter of the sheriff. And you even let her hook up with my son - her brother - because you don't want to acknowledge what a home-wrecker you are!"

_So Duncan is my brother. Mom did act weirdly when she heard. She thought I was dating my brother. I mean, she knew I was dating my brother. So for the past year, I've been making out with -_

Veronica clamped a mouth over the rising bile in her throat and ran out the door.


	10. Companions

"You allowed your illegitimate daughter to think of herself as the wonderful daughter of the sheriff. And you even let her hook up with my son - her brother - because you don't want to acknowledge what a home-wrecker you are!" Celeste's words drew blood in the already depressing hospital hallway.

Duncan and Veronica are siblings?

Logan felt his stomach contort into a strange and complex knot. As if the stories of the Fab Four were not complicated enough, this new piece of information made Veronica and the Kane siblings into one family. He was now the outsider.

The swing doors flapped with a loud bang against the walls. Logan looked up.

Veronica...

In seconds, he was right outside the hospital, searching the small garden for his girlfriend. The sounds of retching turned his eye to her trembling, petite form by a sliver of soil to the side.

The pocket garden was a still and beautiful place; but right now it felt like the land of nightmares.

Logan approached slowly, making sure to be heard yet un-intrusive. He stopped a foot away and placed a hand on her back. She had stopped throwing up, but the small hand against her chest indicated her discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Veronica." He found no other words.

"You allowed your illegitimate daughter to think of herself as the wonderful daughter of the sheriff. And you even let her hook up with my son - her brother - because you don't want to acknowledge what a home-wrecker you are!" Celeste's words drew blood in the already depressing hospital hallway.

_Duncan and Veronica are siblings?_

Logan felt his stomach contort into a strange and complex knot. As if the stories of the Fab Four were not complicated enough, this new piece of information made Veronica and the Kane siblings into one family. He was now the outsider.

The swing doors flapped with a loud bang against the walls. Logan looked up.

_Veronica..._

In seconds, he was right outside the hospital, searching the small garden for his girlfriend. The sounds of retching turned his eye to her trembling, petite form by a sliver of soil to the side.

The pocket garden was a still and beautiful place; but right now it felt like the land of nightmares.

Logan approached slowly, making sure to be heard yet un-intrusive. He stopped a foot away and placed a hand on her back. She had stopped throwing up, but the small hand against her chest indicated her discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Veronica." He found no other words.

She nodded as she straightened up with a deep breath. Her eyes glistened with a mixture of hurt and anger.

"Is there anything I could do?"

_It doesn't help, I know; but man, I have to do something._

Silently, Veronica turned towards him, her eyes still lowered. Then she grabbed him - arms around his waist, chest against his ribs, head against his collar - in an incredibly tight hold.

She wasn't hugging him; she was clinging on for dear life.

His own eyes teary, Logan folded his arms around the only girl he had ever truly loved. She needed him, and he would be right here. In one week, her entire life had crashed around her. Her boyfriend, best friend, and even parents had been revealed to be lies, farces, and hypocrites. Logan knew he was the only thing she had left.

_And I will never let her lose me._

With a deep breath, Logan pulled her firmly against himself. He pressed a long, tender kiss to the top of her head. She was the perfect girl with the perfect life. Then the perfect life was stripped so mercilessly away from her.

_But she will still be the perfect girl to me - always._

Minutes passed as the two friends-turned-lovers held each other closely, desperately - fearful lest they be each other's next casualty. From time to time, Veronica stifled a sob against his neck; and every time, Logan's hand ran up and down her back in comfort for both of them.

Veronica pulled away first, though her arms stayed around her man.

Logan positioned his hands on both sides of her face. He studied her dark eyes, red and glossy with tears. His thumbs ran tenderly across her cheeks.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess," she replied - whimpered, really. "Thanks, Logan."

"No, don't." He shook his head as he lowered his forehead to meet hers. "I just want you to be okay."

Veronica sighed. "I guess it'll never be okay."

She pushed slightly away to look at him. "You know, I thought that knowing why Duncan dumped me would make things better. I thought that if I only knew why - then life would explain itself. Then everything would become clear again. But I - "

She breathed heavily to subdue her sobs.

"I was wrong."

Every bit of Logan wanted to crush his lips to hers, to kiss away her pain; but he knew to let her continue. He nodded, acknowledging her words.

"I thought that the more we grew up, the easier life would be to understand, you know?" She paused every few words with a sob. "I thought that life is supposed to explain itself as it happens. But, no - "

She buried her face in his neck. His right hand flew up to brace the back of her neck.

"Life only gets more complicated."

Logan sighed. Seeing her idealistic world crumble was as painful as seeing his own heart carved out. He would give anything to have her happy again.

_Maybe I can try._

"Ronnie, you still have me," he whispered with a kiss to her forehead.

Carefully, Logan removed her face from his collar. He tilted her chin to face him. As their gazes locked, he moved down to clasp both of her hands in his, placing them over his heart.

"I can't promise that life won't get more complicated, because it will." His heart was racing, but his voice calm. "But I do promise you, Veronica - my dear, dear Veronica - that I will be with you every step of the way. You won't ever have to lose me too, okay? We'll do this together."

Tears filled her eyes once again. Her lips quivered.

"We'll find Lilly's attacker?"

_Even now, she's worried about someone else._

"Yes," came his firm response.

"We'll figure out who my dad is?"

"Yes, together. You'll be fine."

"You won't leave me for Duncan?"

"No, gosh, never." Logan took a deep breath. "I can't believe you even have to be afraid of that. He wronged you, Veronica, not vice versa. The least he could've done was explain."

They paused for a moment.

"But knowing what you do now, do you wish he explained?"

_I just had to ask._

Veronica contemplated for a moment, redirecting her eyes.

"No." She looked back at him. "I would've known eventually, but I wouldn't prefer it from him."

Logan nodded.

"Besides," she added, "if he had explained - I wouldn't be here with you."

A wave of gratitude washed over Logan.

_Life may always get more complicated; but once in a long while, it happens in a good way._

He dipped down and kissed her; her face tilted in reciprocal response. Softly, tenderly, the moisture of their lips met and parted repeatedly. Logan's eyes closed, pausing the moment. His right hand slipped up to her neck, angling her face to his kisses. His left hand travelled behind her from her shoulders down to her hips in a slow and delicate caress. Veronica leaned into him, her own arms snaking around his torso, her lips never leaving his for more than a millisecond.

Unlike their other kisses, when the rest of the world had been obliterated, this kiss was grounded in reality. Around them, the butterflies visited amongst the garden flowers. Around the garden, the hospital staff hurried up and down the cold, monochromatic hallways. And in the midst of them all, in the midst of all tragedy, the two lovers found company in each other's gentle touch.

Logan was the first to speak when they parted. "Ready to go?"

"With you?" She managed a small smile. "Always."


End file.
